The New Way Of Life

My mental state of mind needs to change quickly. In my last year I was my own man. I had a lot of free time and I was doing what ever I wanted with it. I started a lot things. Some good same questionable but they came to my life and they are part of it. And a lot of those things I need to let go. Which is not easy let me tell you that. But is time to let them go. I turning a page in my life where for these things there just won't be any time. I have to set new prioritize. If you want something new you need to let go something old.
I am exited for what is coming in my way. It's a new challenge, and I need one. It will take a lot of hard work to get used to it. Because for a year I did what ever a I wanted to do, well almost but I was my own master. And these is the time where I have to shine. Because I am good at these thing that I do and I need to show the world that.
Slowly I will get use to it, but i definitely won't pull aside things that makes me who I am. Those things are staying. It's hard to imagine life without theme. Tomorrow officially a day where things change. I am prepared.



Mike W.

Is It Worthy?

All the people In my life are doing something. They are growing as the are doing. What am I doing? At the moment not much. So am I growing? I fell like I didn't accomplish nothing in my life. And I am at the age, where I should be taking over the world. And I don't mean literary. I mean to start being the guy that I want to be, to start doing things that I want to do in my life. My generation is all ready starting. And I am a bit angry because I am not in that micks.

The society has it's ups and downs. People believe that if they read something they are a master at that thing. That makes me uncomfortable. I definitely don't know everything. I am thankful for that. If I did life would be boring. There wouldn't be any challenges, no surprises, no privilege of discovering things by your self and have the pleasure to grow as a unique individual. I those maters I attend to listen and be patient for comments of others.
But I have to say that I respect people that respond before they think, well sometimes. Because thinking put me in trouble. In a lot of trouble. I am a man of thinking not acting wright away. That is way I don't just simply say: Hey, How Are You Doing?
That is way I am still alone, I think to much.

Non the less in some cases it's better and that is where my strength is mostly shown. That is where I am at my best. You know, this is the best time in my life for writing, but the worst for living. Being alone has given me the time to think to put my self in the best position to write. But is this all worthy if I can't shear this moments with someone?




Mike W.

Surroundings

I am stuck here. In the world of pain, misery and people without sense of humor and of course the sense of being open to knew things. New, creativity, passion has no place with this society. I am talking about society that is around me. The society who is killing me slowly but I have to say softly. Nothing gives me more fear to be like everybody else. To be no one. They all ready said that to me. It tricked me in and it's hard to get out. Not a lot of people can do it. But it's my fault two because I have gently accepted it. Stupid me, and my believe in a world that can listen and respond to the words of a man, who doesn't want anything else but a person who believes in him.
Every time I try to do something, to talk to someone a get a negative respond or not even a respond. Which is worse? I admit I am social retired. That doesn't mean that you should ignore me. At lease say no or what ever. Just say something. I hate silence. But silent I am. Silent is who I become. It has grown on me. And that is just because nobody is willing to listen. Hey I am here to listen. I always been and people came to me. Where is my time? When do I become the talker and you the listener. I am tired of trying.

I accepted this role that society gave me. But only for a short period of time. I have plans that will happen eventually. And when I am gone. You all going to miss me, you all going to be jealous. Because that is what you do. You ignore and when it's gone you miss it and you want it back.
I will still try to blend in, but my goals are bigger and better.
I don't wont to feel like this, but you didn't give me any choice. You all ready don't know what you have. You have some one who cares.



Mike W.

Literally

My Mind Works In A Mysterious Ways.
Stvari se dogajajo v moji glavi točno takole:''AAAAAAAAAAAA, Pa drgač gre, mislm tko no? To Be Or Not To Be? Nikoli ne reci nikoli. Zakaj se meni takšne stvari dogajajo? I amo going to make you an offer you can't refuse? Really? Daj mi mir. Samo v Brest ne. Kaj je za kosilo? Olgin Boršč. Ladies and Gentlemen! I have nothing in my hands, nothing up my sleeve. I do have something in my pants but that's not going to help with this particular trick...HE SHOOTS FOR THE WIN... YES, HE HAS DONE IT AGAIN. Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. What truth? There is no spoon.
Is Something wrong with me? TUCHDOWN Ochocinco! Yeah. So Im gonna buy a gun and start a war. If you can tell me something worth fighting for. Kako ji naj povem? Zakaj mi je tako teško? To bi bil odličen posnetek. Ah drek ne. Nimam kamere. Rabim kamero. Definicija status quo je trenutno stanje normalnosti. Če hočemo kaj postati, jo mora prebiti in postati to kar želimo in ne to kar je normalno. Ain't another woman that can take your spot my-
If I wrote you a symphony,
Just to say how much you mean to me (what would you do?)
If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular (tell me, would you?)
Well, baby I've been around the world
But I ain't seen myself another girl (like you)
This ring here represents my heart
But there's just one thing I need from you (say "I do")

Najhuši način, da nekoga pogrešaš je, da sediš poleg njega in veš, da ga nemoreš imeti. Pijača je prokleta. Ma dej budala. I 'm Awesome. That's Right I Sad It, I Mean It, I Am Here To Represend It. I Have Dream, That One Day, One Day...
A Girl My Caught Attention. How Do I Tell Her That? I See Something Is Bottering You? Well Yes It Is.
I'm just a crazy mutherfucker
Livin' it up
Not giving a fuck
Livin' life in the fast lane (life in the fast lane)

I Am Crazy. I Just Know It. Wait... Maybe I Am Not. Maybe It's Just My Brain That Is Crayz. But Wait Michael, doesnt that makes you crayz? Yes it does, dammit.
Did you just talk to your self? Amm... no I wasn't. Ok I was, so what.
I hope people how read this don't think am crazy? O they all redy think that. Your A man from Slovenia, Who's mind thinks and talks not in his native language, but in english.
Ne ne zdaj pa dovolj. Če ste pršli do sem, brez večjih poškodb... Srečno novo leto. Kajti zdaj vam ni več vrnitve. Zdaj bo bolje, da preberite vse do konca. Mogoče boste kej profteral, mogoče nič. Mogoče kakšno pametno rečem, mogoče ne. No ja seveda bom ne! Kdaj pa še nism kakšno pametno rekel. Sm že kdaj pametno rekel????
Ko rečem ne nekomu, rečem da sebi.
Some things happens for a reason. And some things just happen.
Love is something you can't explain, but you know it when it's there.
You mother fucking cock sucker. Fuck, shit, bitch, cock, balls...''

In to je samo eno popoldne. Eno samo popoldne, je lahko usodno zame in moje ideje. Mogoče se v tem popoldnevu ne vidi nobenih večjih napredkov v razvijanju. A še vedno so potrebni. Poskus prikaza kaj dogaja v meni. Točno to je bilo to. Sem ujet v ta svet. V svet razmišljanja. V tem svetu si sam. Redki so primeri v katerih se lahko dva svetova razmišljanja ujameta in ko se so to najlepše besede na svetu. A na koncu je naj bolj važno, ne to da negdo razume tvoj svet, ampak to da te sprejme takšnega kot si.



Mike W.

What's On Your Mind?

Facebook me konstanto sprašuje ''O čem razmišljaš?''. Fino, fajn ne. Problem je, da preveč razmišljam. Imel sem zanimiv pogovor z psihologinjo. Ko sem ji povedal, da veliko razmišljam. Me je v trenutku ustavila in spregovorila. '' Življenje je preprosto. Ne razmišljaj preveč.''
Zanimivo, ne. Za daljši trenutek se vstavim pri teh besedah. In začnem razmišljati. Kaj? Ja razmišljati. Torej poskušam opredeliti besede. Ali je res preprosto? Ali je se je vredno matrati okoli vprašanja, ki je v zraku že nekaj tisoč let? Mogoče da, mogoče ne. Ampak če me kaj poznate, se brez kompromisov podam v boj. Jaz proti vprašanju. Mano a mano. Le kdo bo zmagal? Kakšen bo razplet? Počutil sem se kot v kakšnem vesternu. John Wayne(vprašanje) proti zlikovcu(jaz).
Vsi vemo kakšen je konec te klasike. A vseeno smo prišli do nekega zaključka, do nekega napredka. Torej, nekako sem prišel do zaključka, da je preprosto toliko koliko, si ga narediš sam. To je prvi dejavnik. Drugi je zunanji dejavnik. Ta dejavnika sta popolen par. Noben ne more brez drugega. En dejavnik se da spremeniti, drugega zelo teško ali skoraj nemogoče. In ta dejavnika različno vplivata na ljudi. Name prvi še najbolj. Saj si sam otežujem delo. A otežujem si delo zaradi drugega dejavnika. Pomoje mi ne bi bilo treba toliko razmišljati o drugem dejavniku a...
Prišli smo daleč. Vse do tega kaj naredi zadevo preprosto. A še daleč od tega, da je to lahko. Vsaj zame. Na koncu vesterna, se predam nedvomljivemu zmagovalcu, tetrealno padem in vse utihne. A to ni zame konec. Umaknem se iz boja ponosno. Verjamem, da je preprostost važna v življenju. A preprostost, zna biti nezadovoljiva. Povprečna. In ljudje, jaz ne iščem preprostosti, če samo pogledam, kaj se mi dogaja v glavi to ni preprosto. Zakaj bi iskal preprostost, če me ne zanima. Zakaj bi iskal nekaj, kar mi že od samega začetka ni nikoli šlo. Preprosto pač ni zame. Rad imam vsa ta razmišljanja, rad se podajam v neznano z mislimi brez konca. Vse to je del mene.
Preprosto ni zame.



Mike W.

Who Am I And How Does My Mind Work

Vprašanja na katera, nikoli ne bo pravega odgovora saj, je toliko stvari v meni, ki jih še sam ne znam pojasniti. Ampak najdel sem nekaj, kar je pomoje še naj bližje, dobremu odgovoru. V knjigi, ki je meni kot biblija ostalemu svetu, sem našel odličen odlomek, kateri me opiše odlično. Samo treba ga je brati med vrsticami. Treba je pogledati iz druge perspektive, da boste videli kaj mislim. Nič bat', ni nič težkega. Samo berite med vrsticami.

Citiram: ''Vsako jutro greste k pisalni mizi in vstopite v domišljijski svet svojih likov. Sanjate in pišete, dokler sonce ne zaide in vam odmeva v glavi. Zato izklopite računalnik, da bi bili z osebo, ki jo ljubite; a čeprav lahko izklopite računalnik, ne morete izklopiti domišljije. Ko sedite pri večerji, vam liki še vedno begajo po glavi in želite se, da bi ob krožniku imeli beležnico. Oseba, ki jo ljubite, bo prej ali slej rekla '' Veš... v resnici sploh nisi tukaj.'' Kar je res. Vsaj polovico časa ste nekje drugje in nihče noče živeti s človekom, ki je pravzaprav odsoten. Pisec je človek, ki mu življenje usmerja silovita ambicija.''



Mike W.

One

Kako lahko govorim o svojem svetu, če ni nikogar, ki bi poslušal? Kako lahko živim v svojem svetu, če me ostali svet okoli mene, gleda postrani? Kako lahko s svojim svetom kaj naredim, ko je tisti svet v katerega želim, tako daleč od mene? Kako lahko delim svoj svet, ko ni nikogar, ki bi poslušal?
Kaj je narobe z mojim svetom, se sprašujem. Ali je kaj narobe z mano? Sigurno je nekaj na meni. A z mojim svetom ni nič narobe. Samo redki ga razumejo. Kar mi da vedeti, da je poseben. A je svet v katerem bi se vsak našel. V to sem prepričan.
Nerabim tisoč ljudi ali sto, rabim samo eno. Rabim eno, ki me bo razumela. Eno, ki me bo s pogledom prebrala. Ena, do katere lahko pridem in me ne bo spraševala neumna vprašanja. Ena, do katerega se lahko preprosto vsedem in ji ne bo težko v tišini. Ena, ki bo razumela mojo tišino. Rabim eno in samo eno. Zahtevam preveč? Mislim, da ne. Nisem človek materialnih stvari, nepotrebujem veliko v življenju. A potrebujem eno in samo eno.



Mike W.