Another Lonely Day

Here comes emptiness crashing in. Most days I keep my problems well hidden. But underneath the surface I feel emotions of a heartbreak. I am not heartbroken. I am maybe heartbroken by my incompatibility. But let's not get into my mistakes. But one fact is true. When I let someone in I got heartbroken. Every time. Maybe there is something wrong with me? Or just the simple communication failure, or the distance measured in miles between her an me. They said that you shouldn't have any regrets for your decisions. Well I have few. And one is letting her go. But more of wanting her back it's just, I wanna see where I would be. Now, I can't know where I would be, with my self and here. By the way she was really awesome.

And there for by my incompatibility I got heartbroken again. Just another lonely day I walk around with my heart problem. How I miss those moments of togetherness. The simple siting on a couch, which gives you all the meaning in the world, having your arm around her, the warmth even on a very cold day is incredibly and most of the beauty in this scene is just being wanted by some one, in every moment at every time.

In every moment at every time this is my another lonely day. Those thoughts, wishes how ever do you want to name them, those things run in my head. Bound by this course of wishful thinking.

Mike

Inventive

I need to do something new, something creative, too get my spirit going.

With Me, Or Without Me

I am lost. And normally when you are lost you can't find the way to things that makes you happy. Not saying I am back, but saying something would be nice. At least is't keeping me on my toes, not writing I mean. I looked every where between this period of not writing. And it's just dumb world. Not exiting me at all. The whole world experience is not getting to me. I don't feel it. I do understand it, but I don't want it. Ah who cares really what I have to say. Just a thought that I can't find something that could made a difference is pathetic enough. Can't find a decent opportunity to live. I am not asking for much I am asking for normal. Stop telling me what to do. Stop saying what would you do. Stop with pretending the world isn't in shit. Just shut the fuck up.

I need new way to talk to my self this one is getting boring. Tired of same old stuff. Any ideas as how to continue? Fuck you. Just fury, rage, anger is in me lately. Can't stop thinking about idea to break something. Anything, just to destroy their meaning. Because I don't have meaning. With me or without me. What is the purpose to continue if I can't even decide? Do I want to decide? I think so, at least I will make one good decision, or bad.

I don't know. All I know right now is my status. And it's bad. Really bad.

Mike or what ever.