I am lost. And normally when you are lost you can't find the way to things that makes you happy. Not saying I am back, but saying something would be nice. At least is't keeping me on my toes, not writing I mean. I looked every where between this period of not writing. And it's just dumb world. Not exiting me at all. The whole world experience is not getting to me. I don't feel it. I do understand it, but I don't want it. Ah who cares really what I have to say. Just a thought that I can't find something that could made a difference is pathetic enough. Can't find a decent opportunity to live. I am not asking for much I am asking for normal. Stop telling me what to do. Stop saying what would you do. Stop with pretending the world isn't in shit. Just shut the fuck up.
I need new way to talk to my self this one is getting boring. Tired of same old stuff. Any ideas as how to continue? Fuck you. Just fury, rage, anger is in me lately. Can't stop thinking about idea to break something. Anything, just to destroy their meaning. Because I don't have meaning. With me or without me. What is the purpose to continue if I can't even decide? Do I want to decide? I think so, at least I will make one good decision, or bad.
I don't know. All I know right now is my status. And it's bad. Really bad.
Mike or what ever.
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