River Flows In Me

Hard on my self before knowing. But on the other side I really hate most things. I am a cynical bastard. But at least a better bastard then most of theme out there. And how do you become one? When you realize that you will not do what you desire the most in this world. It puts you on the grounds of thinking. And you become loud in your mind. It's like loud wind on a silent perfect night. I am still searching for my lullaby. To many noises when I try to sleep, nothing calms me down any more. Will you be my lullaby? I think it's a fair question. Just not saying it to the right person. And it probably never will be said. Always threaten by details. But always seeing it. Can I really offer you my troubles? Or do you live in a fairytale? I don't know my future. And I ask my self questions every day. Where is the alternative? I have been waiting for a very long time. Amazing that I came this far. Don't want to gave my secrets away. And I don't want a perfect life. I just want life. Because this is definitely not it. Is it worth existing if you do not achieve what you want?

A river flows in me.

Michael